Muse

so then i said…

I will dress in red

And be your friend

As I lend my life

To your strife

So we can always be

Side by Side

And eat some pie

*shrug*

Save the road I'm on

Promise to not be long

For my longing will not stop

And instead of a flowing stream

I withhold everything

Until we meet

And see the unseen In each other

And be one

Like the risen sun

I will stand by you

Be true

You're my reason the sky is blue

I know what to do

I know what to do

Reckless Abandon

How mature

You only focus on your own hurt

Am I foolish?
Am I kind?

Can I get some kind of rewind?

Or you out of my mind?

Am I a burden or a bore

Or were you in it for the glory

Of conquering someone else

Whose life you’ve never defeated or dealt

With their trials and tribulations

I forgive you; I am free

I abandon the anger

As you abandon me

To show myself

Who not to be

That’s the only gift you grant

As your character began to slant

Here I abandon my rant

And all aberrant

-

Ethics is a Home

I’d be homeless without ethics

How is it so?

The warmth of love

Beats the greed of snow

To make hearts cold

Beats those who reap

What they sow 

And bests them at Forgiveness 

For the only home

That exists

Is one we build not by brick

For the only thing that sticks 

Is the strength of an outstretched hand

“I will try to understand.”

-

This is what loves does

It creates a whole new world

But not one we were sold

As little girls

A love that lets us mourn for more

And not mourn our potential or be scorned

So you get a choice

Love and lose yourself? Or be an empty space between the two

It’s up to you to make love mean you can be who you are

Not for validation or told you’re a star

It’s to be beaten by a real hurdle

Vulnerability is to cuddle

Not serve as a body double

Don’t doubt; Be yourself.

-

SONG:

The sky’s not the limit

You once bet

But you can calculate the digits

Of the stars

Uplifting the world

As you depart

So if I made a wish

What will comfort you?

I cannot change the sky’s blue

Or that the world snoozes

And gets used to

The way things are

They forget the start

We came from the stars

You said no to ask why

Yet you are the dawn for my dark

I cannot lie

A pessimist once said

There’s only confusion in the mist

But if you wipe the rear view mirror

It’s like you’re always near

You take the sky with you

As I watch both disappear

I still believe you’re here

And all I hold dear

Becomes clear.

Beyond

Our 

Reality

Enough

Deterred

Everyone’s a quack on some level if they have not gone through the same hell.

We’re here to love

And lose

Be soothed by the blues

And paint the sky

Any color we choose

Broken people

Need no steeple

All they need is

To acknowledge

They exist

And see through establishments and systems

And not get blame for that - a hit or a miss to them

Life’s no pizza pie

Unless you’re looking at the moon in love

No one gets the same slice

We must stop prescribing, preaching and pushing a reason

To those who can barely survive.

Let THEM teach us life. (Work on this)

-

SLOTH

Sleepy loving open trusting heart

-

Allusion/Assonance

Facebook is facetious

-

Righteous Grief

Righteous grief

Has a stare contest with me

Who will blink?

It does not seek

A happily ever after ending

It returns to the past

To make the good parts last

That parted too quickly

An injustice of madness to cover sadness

A quicksand of duty

Focused on gain

I am to blame

I must go to the one I miss

Can you forgive all of this?

Love must reach out

Where there was an exit

You still exist

Say one word

I won’t tell anybody it

So you do - leave me a clue

There was no part; just you outsmart me where I couldn’t see

A blindspot of you and me

I will stop charging at the wall

Because you see through it all

I am who I am because I stalled

On recognition of what’s right

I must follow the footprints of your life

-

Minimize Grief

How do you minimize grief?

Ask it to sit next to me

10 hours later

You didn’t talk

But there is nothing you are not

It may get caught

On a snag of the thread of life

Or you miss them in a passerby

No hi; No goodbye

It’s easier that way

You were supposed to stay

Not sway 

I was supposed to be your wife

Now I enjoy grief by my side

And live with my heart opened wide

As it takes the truth from the strife

That I can hold on and let go

Is the greatest surprise

Is fate cruel or can I break the rules?

Do you rule my heart…

Or may I get to restart it all?

I’m not sitting pretty as your doll.

You are null and void to me

Grief cannot be minimized

But it can forgotten

Under the floorboards

Of the heart

Or flow with the sails in the wind

You cannot rewind

So you can let go

The need to know

The unknown will taunt you for life

But you can rest in it too

Let the pain soothe you

Lest you never fail

Or be

The missing piece makes you complete

When you lose, you have nothing to lose

-

Last Words

I’m not in the grave

I’m not far away

I will have the last say

You belong with me and where you are equally

You don’t have to make a wish or bargain for your sins

You don’t have to come clean

You don’t have to meet me so soon

You big baboon

All you need to do

Is hold onto what I left behind

Yours and mine

A heart that’s kind

My last words - You are still my life.

-

A rose can grow 

In places that seem lonely

In cracks of sidewalks

Or humanity

Until the first petal falls

Like it was never there at all

-

Red Flags Disney

Cruella is Cruel

And does not deserve a Prequel.

Beauty paid the price

Of making the beast nice

As she was just giving advice

As his vice

She became like mice

Running to hide

With minced words to save her life

There was still shadow to his light

He was always by her side

She was in a world he bought

And that she thought

She chose freely

But it was just a duty

Empathy for the enemy

Stockholm syndrome

All due to excessive reading

Leading to “true loves” meeting

To avoid a beating

Waiting to desert or deserve him

As he’d always win

And pretend they could begin again

Beauty behaves

Imperfection improvises

So the escape can be isolated

Away from trying to obtain from which you must abstain 

-

Grief in a Box

I see your face

In a distant place

Where you ran away

But your shadow remains

I put it in a tiny box

With a forget-me-not

There is still a lot unsaid

I wrap a bow around it

And send it to the sea

Captain of the feeling

Of the tide rolling back

Impermanent with an eternal impact

I saved my side of the story

And let you have the glory

I have grief in a box

Like Pandora but darker than ?

Sunk to the ocean floor like a rock

Knowing you’d dive

To save our fight

I’ll never say you’re right

So just wait

Til you’re by my side

Or out of my sight

OTHER THOUGHTS

Happiness or contentment? They cannot be interchangeable but they can coexist or one can be in place of the other. What do you think?

We don’t always have very many choices but we can love ourselves through this.

Can all those who took the road less traveled come back and reclaim theirs as it seems a farce we could ever finish our own findings? 

“I am fulfilling my potential. I am fulfilling my potential. I am fulfilling my potential...” ~Humanity, Dead-Eyed.

The world will not give you the space to suffer openly for anything you go through. Do it anyway. Life itself is an act of rebellion.

Ambition will bore you. That’s why you should do art instead.

Ethics will find you if you can’t land anywhere else. I promise it will be worth it.

Perception does not create truth. Why do I know this? Then the bigots would win. Thank God we cannot actually warp reality to our liking. Yes free will gets in the way in general but be glad of this fact…

I will say to the victim blamers and toxic positivity this - Willpower even if spiritual ain’t shit. Life is unfair. Injustice exists. It’s not your fault. You don’t have to be Superman to oppression. Change the system.

Only one who is moral can capture morality. Sorry a ton of philosophers! You’ll never know unless you act. Sometimes you have to act in love in order to feel the love. It’s not always natural. But it is spiritual.

Monostich - The cost of everything is to be a good person.

Pain is not the problem. It’s the pressure to fix it before we listen to what it has to say.

Monostich - I’ll either be your answer or your undoing.

Not everyone has the luxury or privilege of just working more to get more or even working less to find balance. Be careful what kind of encouragement you give. We are all doing our best. I’ve met populations in need that get no help. It’s not your fault if you don’t live the American Dream as prescribed. It’s a system issue as well.

Monostich - Passion beats all verdicts for a well lived life.

You may never believe in anything but there are small mercies in this life that make it hard to doubt.

Monostich - We said goodbye so many times we knew it was a hello. 

Be proactive not reactive. Build on the positive.

Greatness is just overcoming oneself.

It’s cool when you pay your dues and have nothing to prove.

And when I have no hope

You show up

And when I have no shoulder to cry on

You offer your soul

And when I have no place to go

You say "Welcome home."

It’s amazing our capacity to hate but equal to that is our capacity to love.

I will carry you on my back.

Make up for what you lack.

Pick up others’ slack.

And keep your soul intact.

I’ll sum social psychology down in one post - Our gut reaction is to resist a test until the tester reassures them it’s okay. The majority still wins. For example I read a study “Only a few ppl were traumatized by this social issue.” So they concluded their bias was right. You wouldn’t be able to guess which one. Ethics vs fraudulence - are they the same?

Fame takes many souls. You have to start from the bottom to know.

Being brave means being beside oneself at all times.

Ignorance lies that everything is alright.

Social media creates Looking Glass Self itself. Instead be a prism that captures your inner light and rainbows will dance in the sky...shatter the glass ceiling. Look to yourself as someone untamed by society. Do things with feeling no matter the feedback.

Views that cause suffering in others

1. You tell them not to EVER blame anyone else for their suffering This is a version of victim blaming. It’s ALL about self-responsibility. It seems like an empowering message. But in the end it removes seeking justice or allowing yourself to feel sad about a toxic situation or person. It also denies trauma. Note: This doesn’t mean they justify anything with their suffering. They just don’t deny the suffering itself. Big difference. Don’t “oops” that one!

2. Victim blaming itself

3. Gaslighting or abuse in any form.

4. You put being personally accountability for one’s life before giving them compassion or no compassion for hardship.

5. You push solutions onto the person without consideration for what they like or don’t like or the ability to say no.

6. You think you can “fix” someone.

7. You put ability and character together i.e. they are lazy or need discipline if they can’t do something you or most people can do.

8. You compare traumas in general or your trauma vs theirs and expect the same mindset/outcome.

9. You think relying on the system in any way shape or form is a lack of character or will be abused by default.

10. You think someone works like you.

11. You tell them to smile, brighten up, listen to happier music etc.

12. You assume they need to be completely independent at all times with no help from anyone or worse because no one helped you, they shouldn’t expect help from you or anyone else

13. You expect people to understand themselves and be able to explain every aspect of their life.

14. You feel powerful when they listen to your direction.

15. You bring up a sensitive or triggering subject or assert yourself in it without regard to their boundaries.

16. You expect people to thank you or really tell everyone how much you did for them.

17. You tell them not to cry.

18. You expect them to get better. This is going to sound strange but there’s an ableism aspect to this. “Overcoming” isn’t always a glorious outcome of resilience and hard work and dedication. Life is hard and unfair. There are many broken systems in place. Their progress is important but they are also worthy as they are.

19. You are more angry at how someone reacts to an abuser than the abuser. This goes for systems as well. This is called tone policing. You cannot dictate how any person should feel or behave when they are being oppressed within the confines of law and ethics. There will always be a human reacting like a human element that you must expect.

20. You cannot outwork or outthink oppression. Don't expect a superhero mentality for resilience (no matter how much Hollywood likes to exploit those for their own reasons).

21. You tell them empty platitudes or use toxic positivity.

22. And lastly - You put yourself in a position to solve it all for any person unless you are a trained professional or you have their full ENTHUSIASTIC consent (consent should always be this way in any arena) and you put your personal feelings into the outcome as how they should react in gratitude or get better for your self-worth = codependency. You hurt both of you.

Compliance in fear is not compliance.

The mentally ill deserve human comfort within a system that neglects and torments.

poem - I am not lazy; My interests vary. I have a soul. It tells me where to go.

Monostich - The greatest tragedy is to say yes when you mean no.

Monostich - All I really need is the rain; When you get life you feel the same.

There's a difference between loving life vs living through what happens to you. The former you have dignity, your own self-work, motivation and dreams. The latter you think your circumstance defines you and try to control every little thing. You must choose.

Monostich - Can you give the best of yourself to someone’s worst if you know all they need is held?

Monostich - Love can save the world but only if you know what to do with it.

Socrates said the unexamined life is not worth living. I say the overexposed life is also not worth living. (Reality tv? Celebrity culture? Hmmm)

The private life is above all philosophy.

Monostich - Performances of piety to probe for praise leaves one in a paradox of self-pity rather than passionate gain.

Mental health post trigger not a generalization.

Some depression is actually oppression.

Monostich - I’m free of my own ambition to be free.

Monostich - I’ll create a new world for us.

Monostich - You add shine to my soul revealing goodness that is gold.

Monostich - My heart aches for your heart ache; I’d take it on if I could take it away. (My grandpa said something like this)

Monostich - It’s not desperation that drives me; it’s dignity.

Monostich - You cannot save yourself from suffering but you can buffer pain while mothering it through a cradle as it cries; Soothe it by saying don’t ask why.

Monostich - Your calling is your character.

Monostich (awareness/activism) - If it's hard to look at then it's something you need to see.

Monostich: I'm too happy being me to care what anybody thinks.

Monostich - I choose to save your life with my life.

Monostich - I feel privileged to be alive at the same time as you.

Monostich - Don't generalize or dehumanize.

Monostich: Your breakthrough is that it didn't break you.

Monostich - You don’t have it all if you orchestrate someone’s downfall.

Monostich - Someone needs you exactly as you are.

Monostich for the weary and no I don’t have an answer for this - I know God is real but how much will He let me suffer? That said there is no glory in suffering itself. Sorry Mother Teresa. You deserve to be happy.

Monostich for the one I love - If for a time I had not lived through us I would have not formed my own identity. This is my slight counter to some aspects of feminist views of love. Sometimes people can bring out your best. Sometimes we save each other. Thank you.

Monostich - Thank God I never knew my path because I got to outstretch my hand to grab onto the gold I almost passed as life had the last laugh.

Monostich - I’ll never be free unless I make less than those in need because what sustains me stains my heart that all I am is a dam holding back damage of humanity that exists with nothing.

Monostich- Something in your soul knows what to do usually because of all you’ve been through. (This is true for me.)

Falling in love with you made me fall in love with life.

Monostich - You don’t owe anyone anything.

I’m brave because I know you’ll catch me.

Monostich - The best time of your life is when you have nothing to lose or prove because the risk is the reward. I kinda mashed some phrases here.

Monostich hope it hasn’t been done before - Sometimes you must create the path ahead rather than wait for one to appear.

Monostich - The only thing I know for sure is everyday there is a little light coming through the cracks of our hearts even when we have nothing left.

Monostich - Every moment has meaning.

Monostich - You’re free in what you do if you have fun even if no clue.

Monostich - We are here to love each other.

Monostich of the day - One of the most fascinating encounters in life is someone with actual character who does nothing for gain or glory.

Monostich - You may be hanging on by a thread but it could be the one to unravel the inspiration in your head.

For a deaf friend of mine:

Silence is a spy

He grapples with his alibi

No tone high or low

But follows everywhere we go

For some it is peace

For others it is triggering

The world moves based on social cues

Small acts that seem based on nothing

But the wrong priorities

Silence ignores the scorn

Of those who will not learn

The beauty that befalls

One who still hears it all

The crowd is lonelier

The streets harder to tame

A loving connection without knowing a name

A smile and a sturdy gait

One moment of silence is all we contemplate

But endless we would sob

Those who know it roll their eyes

There are more pieces to the pie

It’s not who is wrong and who is right

Nor whether disability defines us

But rather it’s the wait

To show you what it takes

To the cross the road

With so many unknowns

It’s a dance with the stance

That I don’t need what you have

Because you’d throw it in a bag once you realized it was sad

I have the sun and moon

A world divided in two

And a world within

Full of laughter at false wins

I am the one who speaks

To those who truly listen

The rest close their ears

But being deaf is not a life lesson

There is always a question of the cure

We exist; We are not just folklore

We can strum the strings of anything

And still hear more deeply the sound

And feel the vibrations on the ground

You may not use your voice

Or use your ears to make a real choice

But I overkill this task

A social justice warrior to outlast

All those who talk about nothing

I am one who will always do something

So perhaps the heart is what we should listen to

You’d prefer to never imagine it to happen to you

Your cacophony makes you phony

I take the cadence of your character

And song of your situation

I double my conviction

Leaving you with no vision

For the only one who truly knows

When it is time to pluck the Rose

Really feels the earth under his toes

And rise up as not exactly an overcomer

But one who catches your blunder

And makes more sound than thunder.

Lenore

I don’t know who you are

Or why your spirit sifts through me

I felt loved and used and all madnesses break through

How lucky it is to be you.

The vanity of the raven

Could not ignore its quickness at retrieving your spell

However the well is too deep to pull out the potion

Lenore

You are the star

The ravens can’t climb that far

You get your wish

You get to be the poet’s lie

That his wife is still by his side

Lenore

To be banded together by fate to a poem

Where there is such stake

To be loved for being fallen

Rather than called on

That is the light in the dark

The reason madness made us drift us apart

You see I could never be you

I’m not Lenore

I’m just a trick of the light

You are the raven’s right hand

I am the left

And you left me wondering why

You always became a shadow

To even the night

Once I was on my way to hot yoga. I thought of the poem "Invictus." When I got there the person next to my mat had it tattooed on their back. I mentioned this to them. We were both a little astounded that it had just been on my mind. Anyways - here it is:

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the Horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate,

I am the captain of my soul.

By William Ernest Henley, Invictus

Poem: It's my moon; I claim her. She dances away oppression, disease and disaster by staying a light for all to see. I put her shine in my pocket. I give it to you. Yet you refuse. So you see no one wants the gift because they must dare to see what she sees. I have to do it for them. So she can sleep.

Poem: We weren't just star crossed lovers. We sought the stars while crossing each other. So you see even though fate was cruel it led me to the gate to be my own rule. The stars don't draw out our light; I gave up when we began to fight. So you see star crossed lovers may be doomed to fail. But beyond the veil there is one who stands. They are the dark and the light. Not one you hate or idolize. A better chance at a random romance to be serendipitous over doomed in this.

This is a poem I wrote about autism. It's not exactly my experience nor everyone else's but I think it helps.

Tick tock grandfather clock

Roll up and down socks

Marbles mesmerize for hours

Colors and sound are a whirl

Textures can be blah or heaven

Need warm water

-Bath or tea or coffee

To calm down

Flower smells

Soothe the soul

Lavender always knows

There is no end to the senses overtaking one's sense of self

It's a shock when someone enters our world

The depth of feeling is like the ocean

We dream of being mermaids

And create safety in our minds

In a world that scares and strains us

We hear tick tock in the rain pitter patters

Patterns and codes are all that matters

As rabbit holes lead to existential crisis

That we have to solve humanity

Before our own humanity finds us

Without ability to attach or react

To a world that doesn't seem to care

About everything we study and stare at

It can be countless hours

Or a manic moment

Misery

Or a mysterious wave of certainty

That there is spirituality in the brain

And it knows no tick tock is the same

Even if everyone else experiences it that way

Things about poetry:

Poets know there is not poetry. Only feeling.

And yet...

The poem is not words or thoughts or feelings. Or really anything. They capture one's humanity in that moment and it passes. It doesn't come from the poet. It comes from their longing to relive that moment for the rest of their life because they didn't appreciate it the first time. But they got the words out. It's the sacrifice they never tell. Just like the wildlife photographers forget just to be pleased with his eyes. It's the same as we try to capture life.

Random poem by me, you can guess the commentary:

Aren’t I made to love?

There’s no easy way out

What you use for your own reasons

Leaves room to doubt

And treason

But there comes a day

When the snowflake touches the tip of your nose

You suddenly know

What it is to feel it all

And question why you let love stall

Or denied it room to reach

You can tune it out

But humanity needs it now

It’s not something you can give

It’s something that you are

So you sit still in the forest

Hold firm to the ferns

And you remember what could have been

If you had loved and let it be enough.

Continuation of dumb poems.

Why can't I stop sinning

Why can't I start winning

Stop your whining

Why can't I stop whining

It's always the wrong timing

When I was a kid on the bus I had this revelation “I have beautiful thoughts.” I became very shy because I felt like a freak should I share every deep or poetic thought. Then I made a life from it! Lesson - Please don’t ignore the shy kids. They may be adults as kids and don’t know where to fit in.

Part truth, part monostich poetic statement: Don’t worry about any offense against me because my forgiveness is free. It is done. I’m a simple person.

I’m pretty.

That’s a message for my haters lol. I’m a poet but yes im aware sometimes people only listen to a female due to looks. I try to capture love in my eyes. So yes Im pretty. Powerful Righteous Empathic Transparent True Y? Because I gotta!

Cya!